Lessons

Textbox Section

How to Raise Pure Kids

/ Word Filled Family

WFF-02

990922WE

  • In the 1960s, kids lost their authority. It was the decade of protest-church, state, and parents were all called into question and found wanting. Their authority was rejected, yet nothing ever replaced it.
  • In the 1970s, kids lost their love. It was the decade of me-ism, dominated by hyphenated words beginning with self. self-image, self-esteem, self-assertion. It made for a lonely world. Kids learned everything there was to know about sex but forgot everything there was to know about love, and no one had the nerve to tell them there was a difference.
  • In the 1980s, kids lost their hope. Stripped of innocence, authority, and love, and plagued by the horror of a nuclear nightmare, large and growing numbers of this generation stopped believing in the future. (author unknown]

The challenge is before us dads! That is why we are continuing our study of one of the most vital subjects in the world, Growing Dads God’s Way! The future of the church, the future of the Christian Home and the future of our nation and world is shaped by the dads in each. What kind of a dad are we going to be?

To get started on the right road we can open to Proverbs. Note with me some key words. Start with Proverbs 1:8 “My son”; 1:10, 2:1, 3:1, 21; 4:1, 10, 20; 5:1; 6:1, 20; 7:1. What do you see? A dad who is guiding his children into God’s way and showing by his words and example how to be godly!

What are the three keys we are in the midst of learning? Lets turn back now to Deuteronomy and note these keys for becoming a godly dad.

  • Lead the Family Devotions: The Key is to Emphasize Biblical communication Deuteronomy 6:7-9
  • Raise Pure Children: The Key is to Eliminate worldly contamination Deuteronomy 6:10-25
  • Disciple your wife: The Key is to Experience personal consecration Deuteronomy 6:4-6

Last time we studied the first key, the critical job of initiating and leading time for your family in the Word of God. If you missed that time the tape is available. This morning we are going to study the second key to being a godly dad. The second way we can grow as godly dads is to set our course to raise pure children. The best way to do this is to follow the second imperative of Deuteronomy 6:

Raise Pure Children: The Key is to Eliminate Worldly Contamination

Deuteronomy 6:10-25 “So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,

  • To give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, (peaceful, prosperous America)
  • 11 “Houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant (economic prosperity, lack of famine and poverty)
  • When you have eaten and are full— (comfortable and satisfied daily life)
  • 12 “then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.13 “You shall fear the Lord your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name. (the danger of comfort is not needing and forgetting God!)
  • 14 “You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you15 ‘(for the Lord your God is a jealous God among you), lest the anger of the Lord your God be aroused against you and destroy you from the face of the earth. (Danger # 1 Lessen our worship of God as all our focus)
  • 16 “You shall not tempt the Lord your God as you tempted Him in Massah. (Danger # 2 Lessen our Trust in God. This event occurred in Ex. 17:1-7 where they lacked water and thought they would die of thirst. Rather than trusting God in this trial they tested Him by complaining and quarreling. In the future the Israelites were to remember this embarrassing incident.) 17 “You shall diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, His testimonies, and His statutes which He has commanded you.
  • 18 “And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may be well with you, and that you may go in and possess the good land of which the Lord swore to your fathers,19 “to cast out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has spoken. (Danger # 3 Lessen our grip on God’s call to holy living)
  • 20 “When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord our God has commanded you?’21 “then you shall say to your son: ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand;22 ‘and the Lord showed signs and wonders before our eyes, great and severe, against Egypt, Pharaoh, and all his household.23 ‘Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers.24 ‘And the Lord commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day.25 ‘Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us.’ (Danger # 4 Lessen our training of our children in God’s way)

What Happens when We Neglect to Cultivate Godly Choices?

Passage Comments
Genesis 19:1-38 Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground.2 And he said, “Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.” And they said, “No, but we will spend the night in the open square.”3 But he insisted strongly; so they turned in to him and entered his house. Then he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.

4 Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house.5 And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”6 So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him,7 and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly!8 “See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.”

9 And they said, “Stand back!” Then they said, “This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.” So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door.10 But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door.11 And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.

12 Then the men said to Lot, “Have you anyone else here? Son-in-law, your sons, your daughters, and whomever you have in the city—take them out of this place!13 “For we will destroy this place, because the outcry against them has grown great before the face of the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.”14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who had married his daughters, and said, “Get up, get out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city!” But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking.

15 When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.”16 And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.17 So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be destroyed.”18 Then Lot said to them, “Please, no, my lords!19 “Indeed now, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have increased your mercy which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, lest some evil overtake me and I die.20 “See now, this city is near enough to flee to, and it is a little one; please let me escape there (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.”21 And he said to him, “See, I have favored you concerning this thing also, in that I will not overthrow this city for which you have spoken.22 “Hurry, escape there. For I cannot do anything until you arrive there.” Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

23 The sun had risen upon the earth when Lot entered Zoar.24 Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens.25 So He overthrew those cities, all the plain, all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.

26 But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

27 And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord.28 Then he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain; and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land which went up like the smoke of a furnace.

29 And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt.

30 Then Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters were with him; for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar. And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave.31 Now the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man on the earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth.32 “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.”

33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.34 It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger, “Indeed I lay with my father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.”35 Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.

37 The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.38 And the younger, she also bore a son and called his name Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the people of Ammon to this day.

v. 9 Compromise ruins our testimony

v. 23-29 Lot lost his wife, his fortune and his married daughters to Sodom! Loving the world is costly.

v. 30 Sin begets more sin.

v. 36 Compromise defiles our kids.

v. 38 His descendents became God’s enemies!

Lot And Abraham

Lot Abraham
Took The Best (13:11) Trusted God
Lost His Wife (19:26) Kept His Wife who became a Mother of God’s People
Lost His Kids (19:14) Blessed His Children
Cursed His Descendents (19:38) Blessed His Descendents
Lust Of Eyes (13:10) Contented
Settled Gay Community (13:12-13) Settled God’s Country
Defiled Daughters (19:36) Blessed Sons
Descendents God’s Enemies (19:37) Descendents God’s People
Lot’s Line Ended Abraham’s Line Never Ends
Competitor/ Opportunist Peacemaker (13:8)
Took/ Grabbed Trusted God’s Choice (13:9)

The Most Dangerous Addiction in the World

What is the best way to deaden your children spiritually? What is the most deadly virus your children could ever be exposed to? Perhaps we should listen to a renowned media expert. Professor Neil Postman of New York University, says that between the ages of six and eighteen, the average child spends some 15,000 to 16,000 hours in front of the TV, whereas he spends only 13,000 hours in school. Postman says that during the first twenty years of an American child’s life, he will see some one million commercials, at the rate of about 1,000 per week!

As to television’s effects, the results are infamous:

  • Shortened attention span. Can’t think about God.
  • Reduced linguistic powers. Can’t talk about God.
  • Limited capacity for abstraction. Can’t dream about heaven.
  • Blur of adulthood and childhood. Can’t grow in Christ.

To attract and hold its audience, the TV industry feels it has to parade the taboos of culture: adultery, promiscuity, homosexuality, incest, violence, and sadism. As a result the lowest of activities become commonplace, and even morally cachet.

What does that mean? It means we are headed away from growing godly families if they are being exposed to constant deadly spiritual viruses on TV. Let me affirm and repeat what one pastor said in Chicago last year:

I am aware of the wise warnings against using words like “all,” “every,” and “always” in what I say. Absolutizing one’s pronouncements is dangerous. But I’m going to do it anyway. Here it is: It is impossible for any Christian who spends the bulk of his evenings, month after month, week upon week, day in and day out watching the major TV networks or contemporary videos to have a Christian mind. This is always true of all Christians in every situation! A Biblical mental program cannot coexist with worldly programming.

What is God’s Method for Growing Us?

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

What Will You Choose for Your Mind Today?

v Watch godlessness—It will callous you

v Watch sensuality—It will defile you

v Watch violence—It will desensitize you

v Watch evil—It will distance you

v Watch worldliness—It will discourage you

v Watch Satan’s mind—You will forfeit Christ’s

How Do We Raise Pure Children?

Let’s be blunt: don’t say you are committed to Christ unless you are pursuing the mind of Christ! God has a will for your mind! Saturated with the word.

So the goal is the mind of Christ. We need to pray and seek and plan how to promote our and their growth in Christ’s Mind!

So the scandal is Christian neglect. We can’t let another day go by without praying for their minds. We need to plan for their purity. We need to expose them to the right things.

The cure is to saturate your mind with the word. We read to them. We hlp them read. We discuss the Word of God. We demonstrate by our love that we love God’s word!

How? Col. 3

– Stop indiscriminate and endless watching of TV and videos.

– Start systematically and prayerfully reading and studying God’s word

– You have the time — take it!

Let’s choose the mind God has willed us to have today.

Some Further Thoughts on How to Win

The only way to gain purity is by obedience to God’s command that we mortify our lusts. Here are eight practical action items to begin the MORTIFICATION process in our life and the life of our family. That word means

  • To throttle sin and crush it in our lives, sapping it of It’s strength, rooting it out, and depriving it of It’s influence. …
  • Mortification involves the cultivation of new habits of godliness, combined with the elimination of old sinful habits from our behavior.[2]

Probably the most helpful presentation of this vital subject is found in the book The Vanishing Conscience by John MacArthur[3]. The seventh chapter entitled “Hacking Agag to Pieces”, is wonderful. Listen to these key Biblical commands, we can start with today, that are highlighted:

  • Abstain from fleshly lusts. If there are specific areas we know RIGHT NOW are sin, we must repent of them.
  • Make no provision for the flesh. We need to cut the supply routes. If there are magazines, videos and so on that are less than Christly, destroy them. If there are avenues like cable that defile, cancel it. Do what ever it takes to starve the evil desires of our and their flesh.
  • Fix your heart on Christ. This is daily and purposeful and planned.
  • Meditate on God’s Word. After we read and ponder, we memorize and then comes meditation.
  • Pray without ceasing. This is the best, greatest and most powerful way to touch their lives.
  • Watch and pray. Be on the constant lookout for Satan’s advances. Never trust the flesh. Resist the devil.
  • Exercise self-control. This is a daily pattern of saying no to specific temptations and saying yes to the Holy Spirit as he prompts us.
  • Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Which is letting the Word of God fill our lives!

Each of these Biblical commands are for us as Christians to obey. They are not something we pray for and wait. They are for us to actively grab a hold of and obey.

The realities of life dictate that we move from this calm and tranquil haven of joy–the God designed home–to 1998.

The Crumbling World Around Us

When school started this fall, a group of 3.6 million children born in 1979, that the U. S. Government has been tracking since 1986 will be in their second year of college in September, 1998. Of these 3.6 Million:

  • 504,000 grew up with unmarried parents — one in seven.
  • 936,000 were latchkey, “raise yourself” kids — one in three.
  • 1,080,000 have seen mom and dad split up since they began in kindergarten — one in three, so far.

If we aren’t leading our children in the right way, the world will sweep them away!

Danger Signs for Dads

A few years ago, the Houston police published this list entitled: “Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children.” Running through this piece of irony is the recurrent theme of parental example:

1)     Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2)     When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3)     Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’

4)     Avoid use of the word ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5)     Pick up everything he leaves lying around–books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.

6)     Let him read printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7)     Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. (The behavior of parents toward one another must be governed by one principal condition: obedience to God. Who can hope that children will turn out well, when the marriage from which they spring has turned out ill? The development of the children is not something isolated, which can succeed without respect to the relationships which are connected with it. They are members of a moral organism.)

8)     Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as YOU had them?

9)     Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to a harmful frustration.

10)  Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11)  When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying ‘I never could do anything with him.’ And finally:

12)  Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it.

That’s not God’s way…

Fathers: Would You Do It Any Differently?

One father summed it up this way. He said, “My family’s all grown, and the kids are all gone. But, if I had to do it all over again, this is what I’d do:

v I would love my wife more in front of my children.

v I would laugh with my children more–at our mistakes and our joys.

v I would listen more, even to the littlest child.

v I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending perfection.

v I would pray differently for my family–instead of focusing on them, I’d focus on me.

v I would do more things together with my children.

v I would encourage them more and bestow more praise.

v I would pay more attention to little things, like deeds and words of thoughtfulness.

I like the way Charlie Shedd[4] described it in one of his original promises to his tiny son, Peter:

I hope that I will be able to make religion natural to you. It is natural. In fact, I think this relationship with God is the only thing that is one hundred percent natural. We will pray together until it is easy for you to put your arms on the window sill of heaven and look into the face of God. Before I put you back in your crib, I want to tell you something Philip said.

We had been out in the country for a ride. It was evening and we ran out of gas. We were walking along after we had been to the farm house, and I was carrying a can of gas. Philip was only four. He was playing along, throwing rocks at the telephone poles, picking flowers, and then, all of a sudden it got dark. Sometimes night comes all at once in the country. Philip came over, put his little hand in mine and said, “Take my hand, Daddy. I might get lost.”

Peter, there is a hand reaching to you from the heart of the universe. If you will lay your hand in the hand of God and walk with Him, you will never ever get lost.

Some Final Goals as God’s Dads

The Biblical Method is for us as parents to be doing the following:

  1. POINTINGthem in the way they should go Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)
  2. LIVINGaround them with loving affection Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (KJV)
  3. REMEMBERINGthat much depends on us. 1 Corinthians 4:1-2 Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful. (KJV)
  4. KEEPINGconscious of the priority of their eternal soul. Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea. (KJV)
  5. LEADINGthem into personal knowledge of the Scriptures 2 Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. (KJV)
  6. DEMONSTRATINGour love for God’s House and His People Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (KJV)
  7. SHOWINGthem how to live by faith Habakkuk 2:4 Behold, his soul [which] is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith. (KJV)
  8. CALLINGthem to the imperative of obedience Deuteronomy 6:1-7 Now these [are] the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do [them] in the land whither ye go to possess it: 2 That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do [it]; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God [is] one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (KJV)
  9. EXPECTINGthem to always tell the truth Ephesians 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. (KJV)
  10. REMINDINGthem to redeem precious time Ephesians 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (KJV)
  11. EMPHASIZING personal discipline Titus 2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; (KJV)
  12. REMEMBERINGGod’s pattern of dealing with His children Psalm 103:13 Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him. (KJV)
  13. EXEMPLIFYING God as the Perfect Parent. We should emulate the example and priorities of the Apostle Paul in 1 Thessalonians 2:11 As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father [doth] his children, (KJV). Note the order and content of his parenting was:
  14. POSTITIVE“exhorted”
  15. PERSONAL“ and comforted”
  16. PRACTICAL“ and charged every one”
  17. ABHORINGsin’s potential grip on their lives John 8: 34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. (KJV)
  18. BELIEVINGGod’s promises Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. (KJV)
  19. PRAYINGfor their personal habits of prayer 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. (KJV)

What is God’s way? God’s way is for us as parents to actively and continually lead them into obedience! Let’s get started. Chuck Swindoll wrote a masterful treatment on this topic: Growing Wise in Family Life. Some think it is his best. Listen to him:

“Specifically, how do I respond to the evil bent in my child? You must counteract it. You don’t dare leave it alone! Too many parents have chosen to do that. That’s why you read of ten-year-olds scheming the death of their parents, or twelve- and fifteen-year-olds committing heinous crimes. “First, to get the “inside help” you need, you need to lead the child to a knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. That spiritually dead nature needs life. Only personal faith in Jesus Christ can make that happen. Salvation is of highest priority! “Second, you need to deal with wrong as it occurs. Deal with it sufficiently until the child learns that wrong won’t be permitted. Your child must learn to respect authority. Your child must also learn to obey. You don’t shrug and say, ‘I just can’t do anything with my five-year-old.’ You stay at it until your little one gets the message. If you need professional help, pursue it. Your desire is to shape that stubborn will with wisdom.”

TAGS: 990922WE

Our generation[1] ha s nothing to look forward to but oblivion. The entailments of this are terrifying drugs, AIDS, suicide, alcoholism, broken homes, terrorism, crime, child pornography, and a host of other symptoms that are heartbreaking. It is a short step from the “exploded” doctrines of the past to the disintegration of hope for the future.

  • In the 1960s, kids lost their authority. It was the decade of protest-church, state, and parents were all called into question and found wanting. Their authority was rejected, yet nothing ever replaced it.
  • In the 1970s, kids lost their love. It was the decade of me-ism, dominated by hyphenated words beginning with self. self-image, self-esteem, self-assertion. It made for a lonely world. Kids learned everything there was to know about sex but forgot everything there was to know about love, and no one had the nerve to tell them there was a difference.
  • In the 1980s, kids lost their hope. Stripped of innocence, authority, and love, and plagued by the horror of a nuclear nightmare, large and growing numbers of this generation stopped believing in the future. (author unknown]

The challenge is before us dads! That is why we are continuing our study of one of the most vital subjects in the world, Growing Dads God’s Way! The future of the church, the future of the Christian Home and the future of our nation and world is shaped by the dads in each. What kind of a dad are we going to be?

To get started on the right road we can open to Proverbs. Note with me some key words. Start with Proverbs 1:8 “My son”; 1:10, 2:1, 3:1, 21; 4:1, 10, 20; 5:1; 6:1, 20; 7:1. What do you see? A dad who is guiding his children into God’s way and showing by his words and example how to be godly!

What are the three keys we are in the midst of learning? Lets turn back now to Deuteronomy and note these keys for becoming a godly dad.

  • Lead the Family Devotions: The Key is to Emphasize Biblical communication Deuteronomy 6:7-9
  • Raise Pure Children: The Key is to Eliminate worldly contamination Deuteronomy 6:10-25
  • Disciple your wife: The Key is to Experience personal consecration Deuteronomy 6:4-6

Last time we studied the first key, the critical job of initiating and leading time for your family in the Word of God. If you missed that time the tape is available. This morning we are going to study the second key to being a godly dad. The second way we can grow as godly dads is to set our course to raise pure children. The best way to do this is to follow the second imperative of Deuteronomy 6:

Raise Pure Children: The Key is to Eliminate Worldly Contamination

Deuteronomy 6:10-25 “So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,

  • To give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, (peaceful, prosperous America)
  • 11 “Houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant (economic prosperity, lack of famine and poverty)
  • When you have eaten and are full— (comfortable and satisfied daily life)
  • 12 “then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.13 “You shall fear the Lord your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name. (the danger of comfort is not needing and forgetting God!)
  • 14 “You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you15 ‘(for the Lord your God is a jealous God among you), lest the anger of the Lord your God be aroused against you and destroy you from the face of the earth. (Danger # 1 Lessen our worship of God as all our focus)
  • 16 “You shall not tempt the Lord your God as you tempted Him in Massah. (Danger # 2 Lessen our Trust in God. This event occurred in Ex. 17:1-7 where they lacked water and thought they would die of thirst. Rather than trusting God in this trial they tested Him by complaining and quarreling. In the future the Israelites were to remember this embarrassing incident.) 17 “You shall diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, His testimonies, and His statutes which He has commanded you.
  • 18 “And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may be well with you, and that you may go in and possess the good land of which the Lord swore to your fathers,19 “to cast out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has spoken. (Danger # 3 Lessen our grip on God’s call to holy living)
  • 20 “When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord our God has commanded you?’21 “then you shall say to your son: ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand;22 ‘and the Lord showed signs and wonders before our eyes, great and severe, against Egypt, Pharaoh, and all his household.23 ‘Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers.24 ‘And the Lord commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day.25 ‘Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us.’ (Danger # 4 Lessen our training of our children in God’s way)

What Happens when We Neglect to Cultivate Godly Choices?

Passage Comments
Genesis 19:1-38 Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground.2 And he said, “Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.” And they said, “No, but we will spend the night in the open square.”3 But he insisted strongly; so they turned in to him and entered his house. Then he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.

4 Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house.5 And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”6 So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him,7 and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly!8 “See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.”

9 And they said, “Stand back!” Then they said, “This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.” So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door.10 But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door.11 And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.

12 Then the men said to Lot, “Have you anyone else here? Son-in-law, your sons, your daughters, and whomever you have in the city—take them out of this place!13 “For we will destroy this place, because the outcry against them has grown great before the face of the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.”14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who had married his daughters, and said, “Get up, get out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city!” But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking.

15 When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.”16 And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.17 So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be destroyed.”18 Then Lot said to them, “Please, no, my lords!19 “Indeed now, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have increased your mercy which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, lest some evil overtake me and I die.20 “See now, this city is near enough to flee to, and it is a little one; please let me escape there (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.”21 And he said to him, “See, I have favored you concerning this thing also, in that I will not overthrow this city for which you have spoken.22 “Hurry, escape there. For I cannot do anything until you arrive there.” Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

23 The sun had risen upon the earth when Lot entered Zoar.24 Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens.25 So He overthrew those cities, all the plain, all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.

26 But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

27 And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord.28 Then he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain; and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land which went up like the smoke of a furnace.

29 And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt.

30 Then Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters were with him; for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar. And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave.31 Now the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man on the earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth.32 “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.”

33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.34 It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger, “Indeed I lay with my father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.”35 Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.

37 The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.38 And the younger, she also bore a son and called his name Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the people of Ammon to this day.

v. 9 Compromise ruins our testimony

v. 23-29 Lot lost his wife, his fortune and his married daughters to Sodom! Loving the world is costly.

v. 30 Sin begets more sin.

v. 36 Compromise defiles our kids.

v. 38 His descendents became God’s enemies!

Lot And Abraham

Lot Abraham
Took The Best (13:11) Trusted God
Lost His Wife (19:26) Kept His Wife who became a Mother of God’s People
Lost His Kids (19:14) Blessed His Children
Cursed His Descendents (19:38) Blessed His Descendents
Lust Of Eyes (13:10) Contented
Settled Gay Community (13:12-13) Settled God’s Country
Defiled Daughters (19:36) Blessed Sons
Descendents God’s Enemies (19:37) Descendents God’s People
Lot’s Line Ended Abraham’s Line Never Ends
Competitor/ Opportunist Peacemaker (13:8)
Took/ Grabbed Trusted God’s Choice (13:9)

The Most Dangerous Addiction in the World

What is the best way to deaden your children spiritually? What is the most deadly virus your children could ever be exposed to? Perhaps we should listen to a renowned media expert. Professor Neil Postman of New York University, says that between the ages of six and eighteen, the average child spends some 15,000 to 16,000 hours in front of the TV, whereas he spends only 13,000 hours in school. Postman says that during the first twenty years of an American child’s life, he will see some one million commercials, at the rate of about 1,000 per week!

As to television’s effects, the results are infamous:

  • Shortened attention span. Can’t think about God.
  • Reduced linguistic powers. Can’t talk about God.
  • Limited capacity for abstraction. Can’t dream about heaven.
  • Blur of adulthood and childhood. Can’t grow in Christ.

To attract and hold its audience, the TV industry feels it has to parade the taboos of culture: adultery, promiscuity, homosexuality, incest, violence, and sadism. As a result the lowest of activities become commonplace, and even morally cachet.

What does that mean? It means we are headed away from growing godly families if they are being exposed to constant deadly spiritual viruses on TV. Let me affirm and repeat what one pastor said in Chicago last year:

I am aware of the wise warnings against using words like “all,” “every,” and “always” in what I say. Absolutizing one’s pronouncements is dangerous. But I’m going to do it anyway. Here it is: It is impossible for any Christian who spends the bulk of his evenings, month after month, week upon week, day in and day out watching the major TV networks or contemporary videos to have a Christian mind. This is always true of all Christians in every situation! A Biblical mental program cannot coexist with worldly programming.

What is God’s Method for Growing Us?

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

What Will You Choose for Your Mind Today?

v Watch godlessness—It will callous you

v Watch sensuality—It will defile you

v Watch violence—It will desensitize you

v Watch evil—It will distance you

v Watch worldliness—It will discourage you

v Watch Satan’s mind—You will forfeit Christ’s

How Do We Raise Pure Children?

Let’s be blunt: don’t say you are committed to Christ unless you are pursuing the mind of Christ! God has a will for your mind! Saturated with the word.

So the goal is the mind of Christ. We need to pray and seek and plan how to promote our and their growth in Christ’s Mind!

So the scandal is Christian neglect. We can’t let another day go by without praying for their minds. We need to plan for their purity. We need to expose them to the right things.

The cure is to saturate your mind with the word. We read to them. We hlp them read. We discuss the Word of God. We demonstrate by our love that we love God’s word!

How? Col. 3

– Stop indiscriminate and endless watching of TV and videos.

– Start systematically and prayerfully reading and studying God’s word

– You have the time — take it!

Let’s choose the mind God has willed us to have today.

Some Further Thoughts on How to Win

The only way to gain purity is by obedience to God’s command that we mortify our lusts. Here are eight practical action items to begin the MORTIFICATION process in our life and the life of our family. That word means

  • To throttle sin and crush it in our lives, sapping it of It’s strength, rooting it out, and depriving it of It’s influence. …
  • Mortification involves the cultivation of new habits of godliness, combined with the elimination of old sinful habits from our behavior.[2]

Probably the most helpful presentation of this vital subject is found in the book The Vanishing Conscience by John MacArthur[3]. The seventh chapter entitled “Hacking Agag to Pieces”, is wonderful. Listen to these key Biblical commands, we can start with today, that are highlighted:

  • Abstain from fleshly lusts. If there are specific areas we know RIGHT NOW are sin, we must repent of them.
  • Make no provision for the flesh. We need to cut the supply routes. If there are magazines, videos and so on that are less than Christly, destroy them. If there are avenues like cable that defile, cancel it. Do what ever it takes to starve the evil desires of our and their flesh.
  • Fix your heart on Christ. This is daily and purposeful and planned.
  • Meditate on God’s Word. After we read and ponder, we memorize and then comes meditation.
  • Pray without ceasing. This is the best, greatest and most powerful way to touch their lives.
  • Watch and pray. Be on the constant lookout for Satan’s advances. Never trust the flesh. Resist the devil.
  • Exercise self-control. This is a daily pattern of saying no to specific temptations and saying yes to the Holy Spirit as he prompts us.
  • Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Which is letting the Word of God fill our lives!

Each of these Biblical commands are for us as Christians to obey. They are not something we pray for and wait. They are for us to actively grab a hold of and obey.

The realities of life dictate that we move from this calm and tranquil haven of joy–the God designed home–to 1998.

The Crumbling World Around Us

When school started this fall, a group of 3.6 million children born in 1979, that the U. S. Government has been tracking since 1986 will be in their second year of college in September, 1998. Of these 3.6 Million:

  • 504,000 grew up with unmarried parents — one in seven.
  • 936,000 were latchkey, “raise yourself” kids — one in three.
  • 1,080,000 have seen mom and dad split up since they began in kindergarten — one in three, so far.

If we aren’t leading our children in the right way, the world will sweep them away!

Danger Signs for Dads

A few years ago, the Houston police published this list entitled: “Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children.” Running through this piece of irony is the recurrent theme of parental example:

1)     Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2)     When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3)     Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’

4)     Avoid use of the word ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5)     Pick up everything he leaves lying around–books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.

6)     Let him read printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7)     Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. (The behavior of parents toward one another must be governed by one principal condition: obedience to God. Who can hope that children will turn out well, when the marriage from which they spring has turned out ill? The development of the children is not something isolated, which can succeed without respect to the relationships which are connected with it. They are members of a moral organism.)

8)     Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as YOU had them?

9)     Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to a harmful frustration.

10)  Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11)  When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying ‘I never could do anything with him.’ And finally:

12)  Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it.

That’s not God’s way…

Fathers: Would You Do It Any Differently?

One father summed it up this way. He said, “My family’s all grown, and the kids are all gone. But, if I had to do it all over again, this is what I’d do:

v I would love my wife more in front of my children.

v I would laugh with my children more–at our mistakes and our joys.

v I would listen more, even to the littlest child.

v I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending perfection.

v I would pray differently for my family–instead of focusing on them, I’d focus on me.

v I would do more things together with my children.

v I would encourage them more and bestow more praise.

v I would pay more attention to little things, like deeds and words of thoughtfulness.

I like the way Charlie Shedd[4] described it in one of his original promises to his tiny son, Peter:

I hope that I will be able to make religion natural to you. It is natural. In fact, I think this relationship with God is the only thing that is one hundred percent natural. We will pray together until it is easy for you to put your arms on the window sill of heaven and look into the face of God. Before I put you back in your crib, I want to tell you something Philip said.

We had been out in the country for a ride. It was evening and we ran out of gas. We were walking along after we had been to the farm house, and I was carrying a can of gas. Philip was only four. He was playing along, throwing rocks at the telephone poles, picking flowers, and then, all of a sudden it got dark. Sometimes night comes all at once in the country. Philip came over, put his little hand in mine and said, “Take my hand, Daddy. I might get lost.”

Peter, there is a hand reaching to you from the heart of the universe. If you will lay your hand in the hand of God and walk with Him, you will never ever get lost.

Some Final Goals as God’s Dads

The Biblical Method is for us as parents to be doing the following:

  1. POINTINGthem in the way they should go Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)
  2. LIVINGaround them with loving affection Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (KJV)
  3. REMEMBERINGthat much depends on us. 1 Corinthians 4:1-2 Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful. (KJV)
  4. KEEPINGconscious of the priority of their eternal soul. Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea. (KJV)
  5. LEADINGthem into personal knowledge of the Scriptures 2 Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. (KJV)
  6. DEMONSTRATINGour love for God’s House and His People Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (KJV)
  7. SHOWINGthem how to live by faith Habakkuk 2:4 Behold, his soul [which] is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith. (KJV)
  8. CALLINGthem to the imperative of obedience Deuteronomy 6:1-7 Now these [are] the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do [them] in the land whither ye go to possess it: 2 That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do [it]; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God [is] one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (KJV)
  9. EXPECTINGthem to always tell the truth Ephesians 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. (KJV)
  10. REMINDINGthem to redeem precious time Ephesians 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (KJV)
  11. EMPHASIZING personal discipline Titus 2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; (KJV)
  12. REMEMBERINGGod’s pattern of dealing with His children Psalm 103:13 Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him. (KJV)
  13. EXEMPLIFYING God as the Perfect Parent. We should emulate the example and priorities of the Apostle Paul in 1 Thessalonians 2:11 As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father [doth] his children, (KJV). Note the order and content of his parenting was:
  14. POSTITIVE“exhorted”
  15. PERSONAL“ and comforted”
  16. PRACTICAL“ and charged every one”
  17. ABHORINGsin’s potential grip on their lives John 8: 34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. (KJV)
  18. BELIEVINGGod’s promises Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. (KJV)
  19. PRAYINGfor their personal habits of prayer 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. (KJV)

What is God’s way? God’s way is for us as parents to actively and continually lead them into obedience! Let’s get started. Chuck Swindoll wrote a masterful treatment on this topic: Growing Wise in Family Life. Some think it is his best. Listen to him:

“Specifically, how do I respond to the evil bent in my child? You must counteract it. You don’t dare leave it alone! Too many parents have chosen to do that. That’s why you read of ten-year-olds scheming the death of their parents, or twelve- and fifteen-year-olds committing heinous crimes. “First, to get the “inside help” you need, you need to lead the child to a knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. That spiritually dead nature needs life. Only personal faith in Jesus Christ can make that happen. Salvation is of highest priority! “Second, you need to deal with wrong as it occurs. Deal with it sufficiently until the child learns that wrong won’t be permitted. Your child must learn to respect authority. Your child must also learn to obey. You don’t shrug and say, ‘I just can’t do anything with my five-year-old.’ You stay at it until your little one gets the message. If you need professional help, pursue it. Your desire is to shape that stubborn will with wisdom.”

[1] Ravi, Shattered Visage, p. 103-104.

[2] John MacArthur, The Vanishing Conscience, Dallas:Word, 1994, p. 156.

[3] Ibid. pp. 145-66.

[4] Letters to Phillip,

 
 
Scroll Up